Hajj: A Humbled Heart [Poem]

It's that time of the year again. Hajj.

The time where millions gather to embark on this spectacular journey of a lifetime. It's also that time of the year again, where the nostalgic feeling begins to kick in. Your newsfeed is filled with live updates and pictures about what is happening in the blessed land of Makkah and your heart longs to visit.

I've never performed Hajj before and am eagerly awaiting the day I am invited to embark on this spritiually boosting journey of a lifetime. But I must admit, every year, every Hajj, I cannot explain how I feel part of this wonderful journey. The buzz, the atmosphere, the spirit within my own home is alive and kicking, Alhamdulilah - just like it is in the month of Ramadhan.

I wrote a poem related to Hajj and how I imagine the experience. Thought, it won't do justice, it may just give you a small insight into a pilgrim's thought.

Here I was, wearing my two peices of white cloth,
Unsewn, simple, draped over my burning body.
Around me were worshippers,
Of all colours and ethinicity,
Some sitting, others bowing,
But every individual -
Was preparing,
For this once in a lifetime journey.

The soft whispers of Istighfaar echoed in my heart,
As I poured a glass of zam-zam,
Before setting off to a place,
Where millions would gather,
A tent would be my home,
I thought -
As I recalled my five bedroom terrace I had left behind.
But to me, everything,
Seemed worthless, temporary,
And insignificant,
In light of what I was about to face.

The sun shone down at the millions of worshippers,
One step...
And I'd collide with a worshipper in front of me,
My own concious told me,
To remain patient,
And silent,
When faced with argumentive people,
When faced with pushing and shoving,
And so,
It only increased me in strength.
And piety.


Humbled by another sleepless night,
I walked further,
Arafah.
Arafah?
Yes, here I was,
Standing on the plains of Arafah,
Around me,
People begging, crying, weeping, asking,
Calling, yearning and pleading,
to Allah.
The sounds of Dhikr eneveloped me,
As I stood to ask Allah.

The sky began to darken,
The daylight began to dissappear,
The orange sky began to become visible,
Far in the horizon.

Laying on the plains of Muzdalifah,
The sky was my only roof,
The rocky ground caused me to feel uncomortable,
But then I remembered my grave,
What deeds will I take with me?
O Allah, please, please forgive me!

Pelting stones at the shaytaan,
A sense of anger builds up inside me,
Towards my lethal enemy,
Who only wants me to stray,
But no,
As I throw,
I throw him out of my life,
Out of my way.
As he only wants me to stray.

Tired, drained and feeling weak,
But my heart is stronger than ever,
My Imaan is higher than I thought it would ever be,
My faith firm than a firmly rooted tree,
I can only praise and thank Allah,
For an experience that has only bettered me,

As I perform my final tawaaf,
As I perform my sacrfice on this blessed day,
And as I make my way to leave,
What you call an incredible journey,

I can only cry, cry that now it's all over,
but cry,
because my only wish as I leave,
Is that I return to my homeland,

As a new,

born,

baby.