Thoughts Of A Singleton [My two-cents]

I used to have a huge fancy list of qualities I would look for in a potential husband. I mean, I still have a list, its still pretty long, but... its not as fancy and nit-picky.

You see, as you grow in knowledge, as you learn more and more, you come to realise that Islam is simple, straight and to the point. Suddenly, how many inches his beard is, or how many inches above the ankles he keeps his pants, or how many organisations he works for, is not the matter of focus.

Now, I'm not saying, forget about the beard, because it *is* important and it *does* reflect his love for the Sunnah, and how many organisations he volunteers for *definitely* hints his desire to help others and give back to the community. However, I believe this should no be our ultimate focus when choosing a spouse, or the basis of selecting a spouse.

As I witness more of my friends get married, as I learn more about myself and more about my religion, as I read more literature on marriage, on selecting the right spouse, etc... one quality always stands out to me every single time. Or one point rather, and that is....GOOD CHARACTER.

The guy may have completed ten PHD's on Islam, may be volunteering for five different charities, yet he may be arrogant, foul-mouthed, un-sumpathetic and completely unaware of how to interact with others in a kind manner.

Yet, you may have another guy, with the standard beard (no tooooo long not toooo short - just how I like it ;), he may not post massive of Islamic content on his FB profile, and he may not make YouTube videos, yet he is the kindest, most caring, polite, modest and bashful individual you come across. [This goes for sisters too btw...]

Sometimes, good character speaks volumes about a person. If he has good character and Taqwa, you're in good hands, and if he claims to have religion, but no character, then that should be a warning sign. Now it doesn't always work like that. Nobody is perfect. Nobody has the perfect character, nor do I - but sometimes character outshines everything else, and if he's working on it, if others find him to be generous, kind, polite, truthful - all qualities that relate to piety, then thats a good sign!

Someone can simply be so beautiful, because their character is beautiful, their interaction with others is beautiful, their speech, their idea, their views on the future... is all beautiful. Character is an umbrella in itself, under it falls their perception of life, their views on raising a family, their future visions etc. And usually, the person who is known for his goodness among the people, and righteousness and good CHARACTER, sometimes may indicate they are beloved to Allah.

However, too many people stop at the first tick. "He studied at this top islamic university, or he posts this and this on Facebook - he's definitely the one!" Whatever happened to akhlaaq, character, his reputation, his dreams, *your* dreams in fact, your views of things, and whatever happened to compatibility?

Just my two-cents. I had thoughts floating in my mind, and needed to get them down on paper (or the computer - whatever...you get it.)

And no, I am not engaged people, because thats what people tend to assume every time I write a marriage post. I just felt like writing this, because too many people confuse themselves and other with what they view to be "religious." And its a reminder for myself too, since I am on the search venture. *gets out the binoculars* `

Oh, and do keep a list of questions to ask zee potential. Its important. Don't ask how long mine is. But remember character first and deen... that should be your ultimate focus.

I recommend everyone to listen to this, the ustaadh goes into detail about what character actually includes and Taqwa too.