Friend or Foe?

In today's day and age we sometimes become confused concerning our "identity" as a Muslim/Muslimah living in the west. We are faced with social and peer pressure which makes us hide our real selves and who we really are - slaves of Allah. Most of the time it's the influence of so called "celebrities" who become our role models, or our companions and 'friends', that try to make you fit in with the rest and make you feel strange or odd. So how do we tackle this issue? How can we revive our inner soldier? How can we fight the strong, evil influence of our peers? How can we once again represent Islam through our actions?

As a teenager living in west I witness many of my dear brothers and sisters being led astray due to the bad company that surrounds them and media influences that 'programme' them. We ask Allah to protect us all. 

First of all, how important is friendship in Islam?? Our Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: “A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.” [Sunan Abu Dawud, Book of Manners, Number 4833, Sahih] 
This Hadith emphasis the importance of friends and how much of an impact a friends ideas, character, and actions could have on a person! Truly, Allah (swt) wants good for His slaves and so he sent down the Quran, the profound miracle, and the sunnah as a source of guidance and comfort for us. We should reflect upon the company we keep, those who we sit with, converse with, share our personal thoughts with for Indeed it has a huge effect.

Let's discuss this in light of the Quran, for the there is no book truer than the book of Allah. Allah (swt) dedicated a few ayahs in Surah Furqan to "friendship". Yes! Your Lord is telling us about friends and who we should and shouldn't associate with. 

And (remember) the Day when the Zâlim (wrong-doer, oppressor, polytheist) will bite at his hands, he will say: "Oh! Would that I had taken a path with the Messenger ( Muhammad SAW).[] (27) "Ah! Woe to me! Would that I had never taken so-and-so as a Khalil (an intimate friend)! (28) "He indeed led me astray from the Reminder (this Qur'ân) after it had come to me. And Shaitân (Satan) is to man ever a deserter in the hour of need." (Tafsir Al-Qurtubi) (29

In this ayah Allah is talking about the wrongdoer who will appear on the day of Judgement full of regret and remorse. He will chew at his hands due to the grief he is feeling and he will curse himself and wish that he hadn't taken "so and so" as a friend. Why? Because this 'friend' of his led him astray even after Islam was proclaimed to him! Allah (swt) revealed these ayahs as they relate to an incident that happened at the time of the Prophet Muhammad (saw). There were two friends, Uqbah ibn abi Mueet and Ummayyah Ibn Khalaf.  Both of these men were enemies of Islam, however Ummayyah was a severe enemy and was very harsh in nature, his friend Uqbah however, was a generous, hospitable and personable man who had a habit - that whenever he went on travel, on his return he would hold a feast. He would gather a group of people together and serve them food. There was one occasion when the Prophet Muhammad (saw) was amongst those that were invited. The meal began and everyone starting eating, besides the Prophet. Uqbah, being the generous man he was, insisted to the Prophet to eat. The Prophet refused and said he would not eat until Uqbah declared that "That there is none worthy of worship but Allah an Muhammad is His messenger". Uqbah felt bad, how could he invite a guest and let them leave without eating? And so he accepted this statement. 

Word got round and soon reached his best friend Ummayyah, who approached Uqbah and who ignorantly said: "How could you leave the religion of your forefathers?!" Ummayyah in response told him there was no such thing and that he only accepted because he felt bad. But Ummayyah would not believe him, and told him to prove this and so he ordered him to spit inthe face of the Prophet in public. And so this unfortunate man, Ummayyah went and did what he was told.

So Allah revealed an ayah regarding Uqbah! That he will stand on the Day of Judgement chewing harshly at his hands, wishing he never followed his friend! SubhanAllah! Islam was penetrating in the heart of Uqbah! Islam was presented to him by the Prophet Muhammad (saw) himself, yet he refused and followed the way of his bad friend.

The interesting thing about this is that in ayah 28 Allah says that the man will say,  "Ah! Woe to me! Would that I had never taken so-and-so as a Khalil (an intimate friend)!  - Here Allah uses the word "Fulaan" meaning "so and so". Allah uses this to give it a more broad application, that the ayahs are not referring only to Uqbah but to us aswel. We have all been in some situation where our friends have had some kind of influence on our ways, thoughts or actions, and some may be in a position now where they are slipping away from the deen due to their friends pulling them away and encouraging themto do the wrong. If you are, just remember Islam is a complete way of life, a beacon of light, a treasure that should be protected and valued. If you are around friends that are taking you away from this treasure then leave them, for their company is dangerous. Find people that will motivate you, help you, and work with you to be the best in everything. Help you to enjoin the good and forbid the evil, to wear the hijab, to grow the beard! Make friends with those who inspire you to become BETTER! That remind you when you forget! Because they are the friends that will hold your hand on this journey of life till you both re unite in Paradise, inshaAllah!

Remember who you are, a precious pearl. An honoured slave of Allah. Seek out good qualities for this life is but a temporary abode. Spend time with people who aim high, who don't make you feel uneasy about yourself, who have the same vision as you.

Remember your strange, and being original is better than being a copy!

May Allah grant us righteous company in this life and the hereafter and may he keep us on the straight path, aameen.