When Anger Turns Inward

Some people express their anger and frustration externally. They shout, they point fingers at other people person, they get physical and lash out. Then there are some people who express those same emotions inwardly. They blame themselves, they beat themselves up until the emotions begin to eat them up from the inside, all the while they don't speak. But inside, the temperature is rising and boiling, their hearts are hurting.




Anger is just like any emotion we experience; sadness, guilt or even happiness. It is our circumstances or situations that trigger it. To feel anger is beyond our control, but how we react to it is within our control. That is why the Sunnah of the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wasallam) is perfect and beautiful. It understands the psychological, physical and spiritual state of the human and it gives solution that takes care of all three.




How?




1. The first advice of the Prophet (s) was for the angry person to say: "'Aoodhu billahiminashaytaan irajeem." By saying this, we are reminding ourself that the anger is a fuel and tool of the Shaytaan to make us lose control of our senses. And so we are instantly reminded who the real enemy is. Shaytaan. This helps us psychologically, so that our anger doesn't express itself externally (blaming others and hurting them) and internally (blaming ourselves and consequently beating ourselves up).


2. Changing position. If standing, one should sit, and if sitting, one should lie down: Note how here our physical state is being taken care of. When angry, the blood is rushing through our body and our muscles are tense, this makes it easier for us to react physically with our hands or other limbs.
Changing position helps us cool down, allows the blood flow to slow down and the heart beat to stop racing. It prevents one from acting in manner that he she will regret later.




3. It is narrated by Imaam Ahmed that the Prophet (s) also advised: "A person should remain silent." An angry person is like a semi-unconcious or sleeping person, he is not fully present or aware of the here and now. In his or her mind, so many thoughts are racing, of things that happened, questions about why they happened, confusion and so it is so easy for them to speak their mind without being fully aware of the consequences of their words. Swallowing (literally swallow, it actually helps!) ones words, taking some space, digesting the thoughts and feelings and them coming back to communicate the feelings is the best way to combat anger according to the sunnah.




4. Make Wudhu: How does it feel when you've been walking miles and miles under the hot sun? your baked to the crisp but then you come home up, pull off your abayah and make Wudhu in cold or cool water? "Aaaaaah" Yup, that's exactly how it feels. :) This spiritual act of making Wudhu cools the mind, body and soul and helps bring you back to the senses.




It's amazing when you truly reflect on how Islam helps us in every aspect of our lives and reduces any harm we may impose on ourself or others.
‪#‎IslamicPsychology

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