A burden had been lifted..

Imaan lifted the screen of her laptop, switched it on, and waited as usual for her internet to load, before logging into her email.

Today was the day of Arafah. A day where millions had gathered in a blessed land, to perform the rituals of Hajj and to celebrate the great sacrifice of Ibrahim (as) which he performed thousands of years ago.

Behind her, her father was sat, his eyes fixed to the TV. He was watching the millions of people gathered on Arafah, people of all colours, races and ethnicity, some walking, others praying, and others invoking their Lord. It was an awe-inspiring sight. A sight which sparked a sense of joy and happiness. A sense of gratitude for being part of such a huge, simple yet beautiful Ummah.

Imaan turned back to her screen, and scrolled through the hundreds of emails she had received. Most of them were university emails regarding the assignment she had been stressing over for days.

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Croydon University  Assignment task: reply
Croydon University  Assignment task: reply
Sarah Ibraheem:              Really Sorry
Croydon University  Assignment task: reply

Suddenly, her eye caught sight of a familiar yet distant name. Imaan squinted her eyes to make sure she had read correctly. Sarah?... she whispered to herself. She clicked on the email wondering where she had heard of that name before. For a moment, she thought it was her instructor, who was also called Sarah, but as she began to read the email, it all began to come back to her. She read the email once, still not able to sink it in what she was reading, and then again, and then a third time.

It read:

Assalamu 'Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh 

This message may come out the blue but I just wanted to ask for you forgiveness incase I have upset you or hurt you in anyway. I pray you are well and studies are going well for you.

Really sorry

Sarah Ibraheem

Imaan froze. She wasn't expecting this. In fact, she never expected this. Ever since the huge conflict between her and Sara, ever since the enmity had grown between them, Imaan never expected Sara would ever forgive her. It would haunt Imaan, as she lay in bed every single night. Will Allah forgive me? she would think. "O Allah, let Sarah forgive me, so that I may attain your forgiveness!" was her cry in the depth of the night when her Lord would descend to the nearest heaven to hear her call. Even then, Imaan never thought the day would come.

It had been a year since her and Sarah had broken up. So many things had happened. Things that were too heartbreaking to repeat. She knew she had hurt Sarah and her entire family, she knew she was in the wrong, but she also knew Sarah was too. The final words Sarah shouted to her on that day which she thought was the final time she would speak to her once-upon-a-time best friend were: "Don't ever speak to me again, Imaan. Ever. You've ruined me and my family. Don't email me call me, nothing!"

And although Imaan vowed she would never do so; since that day she carried a huge and heavy burden upon her. A burden she knew she'd have to pay the price of on the Day of Judgement.  It was what worried her the most. It wasn't the fact that she was no longer in touch with her childhood best friend, someone she looked upon as her own sister, but it was the fact that she had hurt another soul, and needed to seek forgiveness.

But that morning on the day of Arafah, she received a surprise, and an answer to a Du'aa. With tears of joy in her eyes, she replied to the email swiftly and excitedly:

Walaykum Asalaam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu :)

Hope you're well!

I don't know how many times I've wanted to message you saying sorry, Sarah, but every time I came close to it, something always stopped me...

Please forgive me for all the ways I did hurt, upset and anger you. I don't want to be standing on the Day of Judgement without having cleared any wrong I did to you or anyone else.

Imaan

Her fingers hovered over the keys on the keyboard. She wanted to write more. She wanted to tell her that she had recently got engaged, and that she had moved to a different city. She wanted to tell her everything that they both would dream about when they were children, but she knew that would be pushing it. Regardless of how much she was aching to write more, she stopped herself and immediately clicked 'sent.'

Imaan logged out of her email, and turned to the TV screen. The Muslims standing on the plains of Arafah were now forming straight rows to get ready for Salaah. She watched with tears in her eyes, unexplainable tears. And as she saw them all fall into sujood, she couldn't resist but do the same. She switched off the TV, and fell into Sajdah. 

A prostration of thanks. As she did, as she felt her head touch the ground, she felt like a huge weight was being lifted. One that would cause her to shed so many tears and caused her so much grief and worry.

The burden had been lifted. No longer did she have to worry about not seeking forgiveness from a soul she hurt. No longer did she have to go through sleepless nights thinking about having to be accountable on the Day of Judgement for her behaviour towards Sarah. It was a clear, fresh start. A clean slate for her and for Sarah. Finally they could push the past to the back of their minds, and focus on their future, as they both embarked on their separate path, and their separate lives. Yet, one thing always made Imaan smile, that perhaps they couldn't  and wouldn't  best friends again in this dunya, but what was true, was that they could, if they both made it, be best friends again in Jannah.

And thats what forgiveness does.

It gives the person another chance.

it lifts the weight which feels heavy upon your chest.

And it is a breath of fresh air. Allowing you to leave your past where it belongs, and to focus on your future.

What a special gift, on a special day. Alhamdulilah ya rabb.