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Saturday 10 August 2013

Nostalgia, a sense of longing, and the fleeting world.

Assalaamu Alaykum Warahmatllahi Wabrakauhu,

Wow.

Time is flying.


I still can't grasp the fact that its been six weeks since I performed my first 'Umrah, and embarked on my first journey to the blessed lands of Makkah and Madinah. It really does feel like yesterday, and on top of that, I really want to go back. Its hard to get back into a normal routine. College, work and then back to the gazillion house chores. Sometimes we need such a break to make us realise the blessing of having free time. If you have it, use it in a good way. When you break away from your routine it really does help to rejuvenate your soul and allows you to have a time of deep inner reflection. Which was what my 'Umrah was really about.

I miss many things about the two cities. I miss the peace, the serenity, and the tranquillity that your heart feels when you sit just inches away from the Kaa'bah and make Du'aa to Allah.

I miss walking to Masjid Al Haram with aching heals and in the extreme heat - walking past people who are busy engrossed in their Dhikr and remembrance of Allah.

Even those small things, like pouring myself a cool glass of zam zam water which would refresh me and give me this sudden rush of energy.

The 'deadly' locusts that would hover above us at Masjid an Nabwi is something I can't forget!. I really were afraid of them!

I miss hearing the Adhaan being called five times a day, and I miss the fact that your whole day revolves around your Salaah. Once Salaah ends and you're already thinking about the next one. Breaking early from your normal routine just to prepare for Salaah and get to the haram early so you can find yourself a nice spot to pray.

Whenever I begin to recall the memories, I can't help but feel a sense of sadness, a sense of longing to go back. People may think I clearly can't get over it - but really after such an amazing spiritual journey -  I can't!

I begin to think about this life.

This dunya.

No happiness, no sadness, no pain, no ease will remain forever in this world. Whenever I think about my 'Umrah trip, I remember this point of reflection...

When I was there, I never felt that I would leave the place. Although I went for less than two weeks, it actually felt like a lifetime. Every minute felt like an hour, every hour felt like a day! Maybe it was the barakah in the time or perhaps Allah was teaching me something. For in every situation you can derive a lesson.

I actually felt as though I had always been there, and always will remain there. It is only when I returned to the UK did I realise the shortness of ths journey and how time passed so quickly.
It made me reflect.

That... when we're living in this Dunya we feel like we've always been here and will always remain. We feel that it is our permanent place and we call it 'home'. Yet, when that Day dawns upon us and we enter the realm of the Akhirah, only *then* will we begin to feel as though we stayed in the dunya for a day or maybe less.

It just shows that wherever you are right now in your life, it will not last forever. 

That sadness you feel, that heart ache, that pain, cannot and will not last forever.  Those moments of happiness and joy will too come to the end. Because this dunya was not meant to be our permanent place of residence. It's always wavering, shifting from one event to another. So much so, that in the Akhirah the dunya will feel insignificant, it'll feel like we were residents of it for a couple of hours, it'll feel like it went too quick. Yet here we are, living life to the max thinking that our life on earth will last forever.

Similarly, when you were in the womb of your mother, relaxing, you most probably were thinking that you'd never come out of that warm place you were resting in. Yet, when you did finally make your way out and entered the Dunya, and you grew up in this new world you had now stepped into -  if anyone asked you about your time in your mothers belly, would you remember? Quite frankly, no.

Again, compare this to the Dunya. In the Akhirah, the wordly life is gone, completely. Even from your memory and your heart.

My experience also made me appreciate the blessed lands so much more. I sit here, dreaming of sitting under the umbrellas at Masjid an Nabwi. You only realise what a true blessing it is to have actually been given the opportunity to visit the best place on earth when you return. It's true, you only appreciate a gift when it's taken away from you.

Du'aa works miracles.

My begging, pleading and asking Allah for five years or more never went to waste. After all those years, He finally invited me to His house, SubhanAhu Wata'aala, and I pray He allows me to visit His house many times more.

I also pray that Allah calls each and every one of us to His house soon and that He allows us to return as often as possible.

For now though, Ramadhan is approaching! Time to embark on another spiritual journey. Allahumma Balighnaa Ramadhan. May Allah allow us to live to see Ramadhan and make the most out of it. Ameen.

And remember, 'failing to prepare is preparing to fail.' So let's strive to prepare for this month and make it our best one yet.

If every situation there's a lesson; a pearl, you just  have to search deep to dig out all the treasures. :)
P.S -  Du'aas requested that Allah facilitates for me to go study in either of the blessed lands and that He makes easy for me and us all the path of knowledge and keeps us sincere for His sake. Ameen!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Salaam..love the comparison to the mothers womb!