In the name of Allah, all Praise is due to Allah, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon His final messenger, Muhammad (Salallahu 'Alayhi Wasallam).
Before I delve into this topic, I would like to remind you that this article is focused on merely correcting the misunderstandings some individuals have today in regards to the 'accepting' the laws od Allah, specifically polygamy. I am not a scholar or anything close to one - who has spent years researching on this topic, neither am I in a position to tell you what or what not to do. Rather, my aim is to remind you about the importance of accepting the laws of Allah as they are, and not hating the the rules He ordains upon us. What lead me to write about this subject out of all topics is how so many people have gone against plural marriages so much so that they begin to despise it (according to my research and findings). I have been witnessing people do this in the last few weeks, after someone I know entered into a plural marriage, and it only increased me in frustration.
Wait, what exactly is Polygamy?? And why do we need to discuss such an issue? Polygamy in Islam is the practice of a husband taking more than one wife. As many may be aware, polygamy is illegal in many places including the UK and should not be practiced. However, Islam permits such a practice and regards it as permissible, but like most matters it comes with conditions.
Due to growing up in the west, we may have heard how unjust and wrong it is for a man to go and take another wife. I mean why can't he be satisfied with just one? We come accustomed in thinking that if a man takes a second, it only means he has lost his love for the first.
Islam has a different take on it...
Allah says in the Qur'an:
"And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice]."
Note that Allah did not make polygamy obligatory or recommended but He made it optional. In this ayah Allah gives the man the right to marry up to four wives, yet, He puts a condition. And that is justice. Islam is based on this concept of being just, Allah himself is the Most Just, and likewise we as His slaves must adhere to being fair at all times. Although here Allah is giving this option to a man, He also tells them that if they fear that they will be unjust between them, then they should marry only one. From this we take that yes, polygamy in Islam is an open option to a man but it must include that the man is able to support both (or more) wives physically and also financially. If he is unable to do so then it is better for him to restrain himself and stick only to the one.
Islam as a complete way of life, has the key solutions for all societies problems. In a world where men are decreasing in their numbers and women are increasing, polygamy puts things straight. It gives widows, unmarried women and those in need, the right to come under the maintenence and protection of a man who will be her provider and keep her under his care.
At the time of Rasulullah (Salallahu 'Alayhi Wasallam) many of the companions and he himself married more than one wife because they understood EVERY woman was deserved of a companion and the love of a man, whether she was a divorcee, widow or a woman who was just unable to marry. Many people may suggest such ideas cannot be practiced today because society has changed.
But, why then do we have increasing number of marriage breakdowns and divorce rates seem to be exceeding higher, when men are going out there and cheating on their wives because it has become a crime to take a second wife?
Don't get me wrong, it's not recommended that men marry a second out of mere desire - however it is permissible. Sometimes we may not understand things, but we must accept it. That's the main and most important thing I want you to take away from this article. Some things we may never understand, but as a believer we must accept it although we may disagree with it.
I read an article a few days back of how a sister showed her strong hate towards polygamy and didn't understand this concept in Islam and why the rule was set in place, she was despising the act.
Let's get one thing clear. You and I can have our opinions on certain topics, but never must we question the laws of Allah and the shariah. It saddens me that when you speak to sisters about polygamy the only thougts spiraling their mind is "That's it, I'm leaving him." "He hates me!" or "If my husband ever married again, I'd divorce him. "
For some, polygamy may be suited and for others it is a practice best to be brushed under the carpet, however one thing to remember is that your husband marrying again doesn't necessarily mean he hates you. If that is the case, he could have easily divorced you. You are your husbands wife and nothing will ever change that. For you to accept his decision is merely increasing your chances of attaining Jannah, for a woman who is obedient to her husband is only making her path to Paradise much easier. Yes, you may be hurt, torn apart, overpowered with sadness, but like everyone, you are to be tested. Maybe for you this is a test too hard to handle and for others they may not care less if their husband married again. Each for their own. However, keep in mind that indeed in every hardship their is a blessing in disguise. It's only natural to feel hurt and upset but only let it be a reminder of your purpose of life and this wavering dunya.
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Final say, sometimes we cannot fathom some concepts Islam initiates. Some things may not be suited to our needs or preferences, but at the end of the day, Allah, our Lord, The Most Wise knows us as a nation better than we know ourselves, hence when He ordains, He ordains with perfect understanding and knowledge..
Allah Himself says:
"It is not fitting for a believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Messenger, to have any option about their decision. If anyone disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he is indeed on a clearly wrong path. (al-Ahzab, 36)."
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