The Most Touching Conversation In The Seerah [Asmaa and Abdullah Ibn Zubayr]

Recently, I have been going through the Greatest Mums of all times series, and in there, one of the Ustaadh's mentioned a beautiful story about a beautiful woman, wife, mother and servant of Allah. It is said to be one of the most touching conversations between a mother and son ever to be recorded in the Seerah, and one which is sure to bring tears to your eyes, and will cause your hairs to stand on end.

It is no other than the story of Asmaa bint Abi Bakr and her son, Abdullah Ibn az Zubayr.

Asmaa was a woman who lived a life of great struggle. Even pre-marriage, she was known for playing a prominent role in the Hijrah. Her role was to tie the food of her father, Abu Bakr and Rasulullah (salallahu alayhi wasallam) with two belts, which she wore around her waist. Thus, she became known as "Dhaatun-Niqaatain" - 'The Woman with the two waist belts.' Due to this act of goodness, it is said that she will be recompensed with two waist belts (pieces of cloth) in Jannah.

Even when she married Az Zubayr, she worked hard day and night. She married him despite the fact he had no land, no wealth and no servant. She says in a hadith narrated by Bukhari, that she would graze her husbands) horse and camel, she would ground the flour, and do all the other chores. She wasn't very good at baking bread, so she would get some women from the neighbourhood to help her with the task. She worked so hard that once when Abu Bakr gave her a maid, and she felt as though she had been freed from slavery.

Now, I want to fast forward to a 100 year old, Asmaa bint Abu Bakr, and I want you to imagine you are witnessing this conversation between her, and her son Abdullah.

The Ummayyadh caliphate at that time was Al-Hajjaj Ibn Yusuf. He was a cruel and tough leader who set out to kill Az-Zubayr, someone who dedicated his life to the service of Islam.

Now, just before he was killed, a conversation took place between Abdullah and his mother, and it goes as follows...

[Paraphrased]

Abdullah is just moments away from being killed, and before he leaves, he decides to speak to his mother for the last time. Still unsure and doubtful of whether he should leave, he, goes and consults his mother for her advice. He says:

"O Umm, what do you think I should do?" (i.e - should I surrender?)

Asmaa, his old, weak and frail mother, whose heart was flooded with strength and bravery, replies to her son with a most powerful statement, by saying:

"Wallahi! A dignified strike with a sword is more beloved to me than a humiliating lash of a whip!"

So Abdullah smiles at his mother and continues to take heed to her words. She goes on to say:

"All Praise is due to Allah who put you upon that which is beloved to Him, and that which is beloved to me."

"Come closer to me, O my son, let me sense your smell for the last time."

Now, just close your eyes and imagine this. An old woman, of a hundred years old, is requesting to hold her son for the last time, knowing that this was last time she would ever see, touch and smell him. The son who was the coolness of her eyes, and a delight to her heart.

So Abdullah comes closer and embraces his old mother with a hug. Whilst doing so, Abdullah lowers himself to kiss her hands, her feet and her forehead. As he does this, Asmaa's frail hands touches Abdullah's shield, and so she says to him:

"What is this you're wearing, my son?"

Abdullah then replies,

"O Umma, its a shield, its armour"

He said, “I am afraid I will be mutilated by the people of Sham, I am afraid that they will cut up my body after they have killed me”

And the brave Asmaa then cries,

"After someone has died it won’t make any difference what they do to you if you have been killed.”
(i.e - So what if he mutilates you! You are standing up for the truth!)

Abdullah, with a heart of honesty, then replies,

"I did not come to you except to increase myself in knowledge.” 
(He is also reported to have said, "I wore it so that you could be comfortable.")

She says:

"This is not the way a person who was seeking the pleasure of Allah should dress."

Abdullah then takes off his armour, obeying his mothers request and advice.

She then looks to him and says,

"Tighten your Siwaar." (so that his awrah doesn't expose when he's killed)

Look at what she was concerned with! She was ready to accept her son as a martyr but did not want his Awrah to be exposed in the process!

So Abdullah tightenes his siwaar, again obeying his mothers request.

As Abdullah gets up to walk away, his 100 year old mother, Asmaa, the daughter of Abu Bakr, a woman who lived a life of great hardship and toil, watches him as he leaves.

So he stops and turns to his mother. Imagine how Abdullah must be feeling. He just said a farewell to his mother, knowing that this was probably the last time they would ever meet. Similarly  she gazes at her son, the one she carried for months long, the one she raised, the one who served her and loved her, and here he was, walking away from het loving embrace and towards his death.

And so it is reported that he turns back to her and requests her her Du'aa,

i.e - "Make Du'aa for me"

At this moment, imagine the emotions? The heaviness that he must have felt in his heart. The lump in his throat, the tears in his eyes. Imagine all this. Yet, he knew that if anything, it was his mothers incredible and powerful Du'aa that would benefit him. He was doing this for a just cause, for the honour of Islam, and so despite the feelings of sadness right then, he would continue to fight for the truth, even if that meant parting with his beloved.

Asmaa, after hearing this, immediately raises her weak hands to the sky, and makes Du'aa for her son. 

A short while later, Hajjaj crucified him and said, "No one must put down his body except Asmaa (radiallaahu anha ), she must come to me and ask permission of me and only then will his body be put down”.

Asmaa (radiallahu anha.) refused to go and ask permission to put down her sons body and it was said to her,

“if you don’t go his body will remain like that.” So she said ” let it be then”.

Until eventually, Hajjaj came to her and said,

“what do you say about this matter” and she said,

"Verily you have destroyed him you have ruined his life and with that you have ruined your hereafter.”

It is said that Asmaa would spend so much of her time in worship and dhikr after her son's death. Not long after her son's martyrdom, Allah took her soul too, whilst she was in her Salaah. It is also reported that Az-Zubayr's family, all died whilst they were in Salaah. A noble family, a noble progeny, and a noble ending. May Allah be pleased with them and shower His mercy upon the family of Zubayr.

The Travellers

We're all travellers on a journey, each one of us experiencing our own life's challenges; each one of us walking our own path. Then at some point in that journey, we come to a crossway, there, Allah allows us to meet other travellers, who too are walking their own journey.

These travellers may still be miles and miles apart from you, across oceans, sand and sea. Yet, Allah allows you to come together, only to serve His cause. Once they were strangers to you, but now, Allah makes them your companions in faith.

That's the beauty of Islam. It doesn't focus on culture, race, ethnicity or background. It focuses on faith and belief.

Amazes me everytime I think about this wonderful gift. Every time I receive a message from a fellow traveller, and every time I ponder over the cause He united us for. Simply amazing. 

‪#‎YMP‬ ‪#‎Islam‬ ‪#‎Unity‬

The beauty of the winds

The gusts of the wind sweeps under my feet,
And as I continue to tarry along.
Underneath my shoes, I hear the crunching of leaves,
As the wind continues to howl.

Tiny chills travel up my spine,
And so I hug myself in my furry coat,
Afraid of being swept off the ground.

I stop to find a place of retreat.

How amazing it is, that something can be both a gift and punishment,
Both a mercy and a destroyer.
What would the world be without the breath of wind,
Brushing against my cheeks.

My Lord swears by the Winds in His sacred book,
From the winds which are like wild horses,
Preparing to be unleashed.
Carrying in them, tiny droplets,
Waiting for their Lords command to Be.

Or like those winds so merciless,
Travelling here and there,
Seeking out to destroy and cause destruction,
Like it did to those of old.
A source of pain; a source of death.

To the Merciful winds, that serve to spread,
Dispersing the clouds so white,
And from them fall, the source of all life,
Rain, rain,
And pollen too.

Random acts of Mother nature, they say,
If only they but knew,
That these are calculated acts of my Lord,
He, who Created me and you.

So next time you feel the touch of the wind,
Or feel the shivers in your spine,
Don't forget that even the wind has a purpose to fulfil,
As it submits to its Lords command.

Yet, here you are, O slave of Allah,
Lost in the illusion of this world,
Don't get caught in the rat race of life,
For you too have a purpose to fulfil.

Inspired by the ayahs:
"By those [winds] sent forth in gusts, And the winds that blow violently, And [by] the winds that spread [clouds]." [77:1-3]

Miracles do happen [The Power of Du'aa and Tawakkul]

I went to meet a sister today who just recently came back from Hajj. Before she went, she was telling me and my mum about her incredible experience of how Allah opened doors for her to go for Hajj this year.

She told us that she had absolutely no means to perform Hajj. In the sense that, she couldn't afford it, she had not made any plans, and things just seemed really tight. However, after listening to a reminder, she decided that, although things seemed somewhat impossible, she would still go ahead and make Du'aa for it, as well as PREPARE as though she was going for Hajj.

So she went and brought a book on Hajj and began reading it, she started preparing in every way possible as though she was about to embark on this journey of a lifetime. Bear in mind, she still hadn't got the money, and she had no idea how it would come in such a short space of time.

She began to have certainty in her Du'aa. To the point, even when people met her and asked her if she was going for Hajj this year, she would reply: "Yes, inshaAllah."

And so she persisted in doing this... preparing and making Du'aa, preparing and making Du'aa, and no more than a few months later, not only had Allah opened the door of Rizq for her, He had also accepted her beautiful Du'aa, and so she was invited to be amongst the millions who performed Hajj this year.

Lesson: Have certainty in your Du'aa. Many of us give up too easily, some of us lose hope, and others don't feel that Khushu' in our Du'aa. Remember Du'aa is an act of worship, its about you acknowledging that your weak in front of your Creator, the Most Great, and the one who can give you an entire Kingdom and more. Don't feel shy in asking Allah for something big or lofty, for in His eyes nothing is impossible and no Du'aa is too big. Ask Allah for your Akhirah, make it a priority, and link it to every Du'aa you make for the Dunya, but always remember, that He can and *will* open doors for you. Just keep going, devote yourself sincerely to Him, seek forgiveness, keep on making Du'aa, have certainty, and watch how He surprises you. 

This sister taught us that certainty and reliance results in amazing results. Rely on the creation, and you will be disappointed. Rely on Allah, and He will give you better than you want and ask for. 

The Marshmallow Test

...So just covered a module on the 'Marshmallow test' which basically is a test carried out on young children to teach them self control. One of the key success factors for kids is for them to be able to say 'no' to themselves.

It was pretty cool actually, and some of you may want to try it out.

You sit the child down and place a marshmallow (or anything else they love; sweets etc.) in front of them. You tell them that either they can eat the marshmallow now, or after you come back. If they choose the latter option, they will get not one, but two marshmallows.

Research Psychologists actually followed these kids who did the marshmallow test when they were younger, for 18 years! And studies showed that kids who held off eating the marshmallow till the person came back, did better at school and generally in life. 

Check out Dr. David Walsh's book "No!" for further reading and info.

‪#‎SelfControl‬

‪#‎PsychologyGem‬

Meet the Musaafirah!

Assalaam Alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakauhu  So, who exactly am I? I am a deeply curious Muslimah and second year Islamic Psychology student, who was born and bred in the UK and is currently still residing there. I am an avid writer, blogger and aspiring author who is the midst of publishing her first book, Alhamdulilah. My passion for children, world peace, religion, psychology and writing is what led me to setting up this blog. Through this means, I hope to write to inspire hearts, touch lives and educate by means of the pen. The more I learn about by beautiful faith, Islam - one the greatest gifts in my life, the more I always amazed and intrigued. Islam, the religion of peace, provides me with the perfect tools and guidelines as I travel on the road of Life. I've been running this blog for around two years. It all began when I realised that so many thoughts entered and left my brain in the day that I couldn't keep up with them all! Thus, I decided to set up a blog whereabouts I could store my daily reflections and ponderings, in hopes that another person may be inspired by or benefit from them.  Writing down on random pieces of paper didn't quite do the job for me, as I would end up losing papers or scribblings things down in my journal, which most of the time, I struggeld to make sense of after. This blog is a place for me to portray the beauty of Islam and how it impacts my life. It is a place to share my personal experiences and lessons that I learn through everyday encounters. Its a place for me to ramble on about my dreams, goals and ambitions, and its also here to give you an insight into the life of a veiled Muslimah. As many fail to see beyond the veil, I feel its my responsibility to show the world the truth of how Islam liberates women. There are two reasons behind why I chose 'Al-Musaafirah' as the name for my blog: 1. Due to the beautiful narration of Rasulullah (salallahu alayhi wasallam): On the authority of Ibn Umar, may Allah be pleased with both of them, who said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) took hold of my shoulder and said, ‘Be in the world as if you were a stranger or a traveller along the path.” And ibn Umar would say, “If you survive till late afternoon, do not expect [to be alive in] the morning. If you survive till morning, do not expect [to be alive in] the late afternoon. Take from your health before your sickness and your life before you death.” (Recorded in al-Bukhari) 2. Secondly, I am someone who frequently becomes consumed with Wanderlust! I have a dream to travel to different parts of the world to explore and marvel at the beauty of Allah's creation, as well as absorb inspiration and ideas from the surrounding beauty that may help in my writing.

Travelling allows one to experience different cultures, meet different people, and allows you to truly reflect and ponder over the wonderful and diverse creation of Allah.

Word of warning: You may find ALOT of repetition on my blog, but hey, everyone needs the same reminder over again some times. :) 

Random fact: I am obsessed with babies, so beware of finding lots of cute, kiddy reminders on here as well as my aspirations of motherhood. 


See, I've already began rambling. If your still curious, check out my archives to see all my previous posts and musings. 

I hope it inspires and benefits ya'll.


Happy reading!

Madiyah 

What's it like to wear the Niqab in the west? [My personal thoughts]

Assalaamu alaykum Warahmartullahi Wabaraktuhu,

Pray ya'll are well and in the best state of health and Imaan. :)

Okay, so recently I had a sister email me, asking me about my whole Niqab experience, as well as other questions. When I first began wearing it, a lot of sisters who knew me would ask me similar questions, for example, why did I wear it? Was it a bad decision etc? So, I decided to answer some of those questions here, inshaAllah, and give you all a bit of an insight to how it is wearing the Niqab in the West.

If you have any other questions, drop me a comment below!

Bismillah,

1)Why do you wear it? Why do women wear it?

My ultimate reason for wearing the Niqab was because, after Umrah, I felt like I needed to change myself in certain ways. One of those ways was by doing something optional; out of my own individual choice. I don't believe the veil is obligatory, but desirable, and so I wore it in order to seek the reward and pleasure of Allah. Moreover, after wearing it for a while in Madinah, it had become a huge part of me, such that when I returned to the UK with it off, I felt bare, as though something was missing. The veil gives me comfort and allows me to feel protected, by the will of Allah.

2. Why don't you talk to guys?

In Islam, Allah has laid down certain rules and limitations which Muslims have to stick by. There will be times, and especially living in the West, it is a given, that you will have to, at some point, interact with the opposite gender. Whether that is at school, college, uni or the workplace. Its going to happen. However, the beauty of our religion is that is gives us guidelines on how we should interact. To be honest, wearing the veil makes me question my actions so much more, as now I am representing a Muslim woman, hence, my actions need to conform to what my identity shows.

That is why we avoid talking to guys unnecessary. If we need to, then we maintain a formal, professional and to the point disposition, as to not get into any fitnah (temptation).

We believe, that a woman is like a pearl, protected and treasured. Her beauty, which can be seen through her speech or actions, is kept for her husband's eyes and ears only. :)

3. Half the people I know wearing it give it a bad name. They see it as an escape route from their sins and look down n other people. Doesn't it defeat the purpose of wearing one if you're worse than most people anyway?

Like you said, that's 'half the people you know' - which means, its not the case of the majority. The minority who do that may see it as an escape route from whatever, but at the end, it all boils downs to intentions. If they are defeating the purpose by wearing the veil for purposes which go against Islam, then Allah will judge them individually. We just have to do our job of reminding. Its like those who wear the Hijab, yet walk around bobbing their head to Music. 

Sincerity and purity of intention is key.

4. Since you started wearing it do you feel as if your relationship with your Lord has strengthened?

Absolutely. I'm not going to lie, but when you first start wearing it, ts no easy thing. Especially here. You do feel odd, strange and uncomfortable, especially when your roaming around town with it on. However, Allah makes it easy, and you definitely feel stronger, and grateful for your identity as a Muslim woman.

5. How d you eat?

Haha! I pick up the morsel of food, lift my Niqab slightly... I then look around making sure no one is staring at me weirdly, I then take the morsel of food and pop it in my mouth as quickly as I can. It has to be a fast process or else you'll have food falling everywhere! Mind you, ice-creams and smoothies are difficult to consume when you're wearing a Niqab. Either you go sit in the car and slurp down your ice-cream or have to wait till you get home. :/ 

Sacrifice right? :)

6.Do you feel your Niqab inhibits your ability to socialise? If so to what extent?

No way. Not at all. I know Niqabi's who have the most amazing social parties EVER. Ok, they might live in Saudi, but seriously, socialising ain't a problem at all for all the Niqabis I know. Rather, it makes things such much easier. I wear make-up so much more now that I wear Niqab, only because I know its covered from the eyes of men, so once I reach the location for our sisters only, halal party, I can pull it off and let the party begin! :D

7. Can you see properly?

Err.. yeah. Alhamdulilah!

8. Can you breathe properly?

Always get asked this one. Yes, Alhamdulilah, breathing under a Niqab is easy. In Saudi, I do remember moments where I had to lift it up to get some air, as it was burning hot, however, normally one can breath fine. :)

9. Do you think your Niqab restricts your approachability? In general do you feel as if you have to make an extra effort with people?

With some people, yes. However, I've met non-muslims who have become intrigued and curious when I've worn the Niqab. They want to know more about it, and more about me as a person. They get so surprised when I tell them that veiled Muslimahs, are educated, do have a life, and are pretty much normal human beings!

10. Do you find it difficult wearing one in todays society what with such negative media?

Not really. In certain areas only. I feel people need to see beyond the veil.

11. Do you feel safe like more with it or without?

With it! A millions times over.

12. Do you think the general public feels safe around you?

Ask them. :p

13. Has it restricted you in terms of what you wanted to do as a career?

Nope. I aspire to be a full-time mother and a part-time councellor, and in no way do I feel my Niqab restricts that, inshaAllah. :)

14. Don't you feel suffocated?

Nope.

15. Do you feel paranoid?

Noope.

16. Whats it like to sunbathe at the beach?

Haven't tired it yet! Will let you know once I do. :D

*Imagines laying on the sand, watching the birds fly across the beautiful sky, through Ted Baker sunglasses, which are sat effortlessly on top of my black Niqab*

17. If you had a choice would you take it off?

Noope. I pray I am able to stick to it inshaAllah.

18. Do you feel you're more likely to be abused? Whether verbally or physically?

Certain areas, yes. Therefore, if I am travelling to a place I know that is possible and has happened before, and if my fathers with me, then I will take it off. Sometimes you have to make a wise decision which will benefit you and others around you.

19. Don't you feel like strippng sometimes?

Sometimes! If I've been out for a loooong time. The best thing is getting home into your PJ's. Can't beat it. :)

20. How do you feel you express your identity? When would you prove your identity?

Through my appearance, words and actions.

21. Do you know Batman?

I AM Batman. ;)

22. Have you seen a change in peoples actions around you since you started wearing the Niqab?

Umm.. yeah, initially I did. Now, they've just got used to it. As they say, 'be yourself and the world will adjust.'

23. How has it impacted your day to day life applying for jobs?

Haven't really been applying for jobs tbh. Actually, I did apply for one recently, and of course now that I wear the Niqab, I have to apply to places where I know there will be a majority female-only environment.

24. Do you always wear it?

I wear it most of the time. Only when I go out of town, and feel that their may be a potential threat, then me, my mum and my father will come to a collective decision to remove it for that time. However, I do hope I can wear it permanently. 

25. How long have you been wearing it?

1 year and 5 months to be exact, Alhamdulilah. :)

26. Do you feel conscious when going to a new place or seeing new people?

No. I love meeting new people!

27. Do you think you personally have to reach to more people to try and break the stereotype? Considering you've been on both sides of the table ie not wearing a Niqab to wearing the Niqab?

Yes, definitely. In fact, I feel its a responsibility upon my shoulders, to try and break those stereotypes by letting people know and showing them, that majority of VEILED WOMEN ARE NOT OPPRESSED INTO WEARING IT, THAT THEY DO HAVE A CHOICE, THAT THEY DO HAVE A LIFE, WEAR MAKE-UP, ATTEND PARTIES, CHILL, EDUCATE, WORK, etc etc. (Sorry for the cap locks.) But yes, I feel we need to reach more people and let them know, that the veil does not restrict us... it emancipates us. :)

28. Do you wear the NIqab even at home when answering the door?

I get my dupatta (scarf) and cover my face with it lol. Too much effort going and grabbing my Niqab. Oh, and I lose my Niqab a lot. Hence, I have to buy a spare...

29. How do you expect people to recognise you?

People usually recognise me through my voice or eyes. It may be surprising, but people recognise me instantly.

30. Were you forced to wear it by your husband or father?

Nope. I'm not married soooo, and my father in fact, advised me to think about it as he knew it was a huge decision I was making. But I was adamant, and after trying it for a while in Makkah/Madinah, I fell in love with it. Niqab isn't just a peice of cloth as some say, its beyond that, its a protection, its our identiy, our way of expressing our faith and guarding our modesty. If only some looked beyond the veil.